Why did the Orlando massacre affect me, a heterosexual male, so much?

Why did the Orlando massacre affect me, a heterosexual male, so much?

The last days have been so much sadness, thoughts, anger, frustration. My social media feed is full of stories, feelings, sadness.
I am a heterosexual man, married to a heterosexual woman. I talk to my wife about what has happened, and we feel the same. We feel like our family was attacked.

Because yes, we may be heterosexual.
But our connection to the "straight" world appears to end there.
We feel alienated to this world. We struggle with understanding the priorities, the need to fit a given mold. We fail to understand the growing need to "normalize" genders, to group certain things as feminine and certain things as masculine, to understand the growing fear of not fitting in those stereotypes.

We just want to be a place where people are accepted for who they are, no matter what the differences may be.

We belong to a group that has a different mindset. We are in a subculture referred to as furries. This is a group not determined by sexuality, yet with a large portion of it being gay and bi. Many are trans. We have more gay and bi friends than straight.
By my sexuality, I may belong to the most "normal" group there is. By my heart, I do not belong to that group. I do not pick gay and bi friends to "show my support". Not just to be an "ally". I never ever feel like the "straight person", with his "gay friends".
I picked my friends based on who I feel close to, feel safe with. My friends are just my friends, I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends. We are like one big family.
In this group, of all, I feel I can be myself. In this group, I don't feel judged. In this group, I feel a love, a kindness, an understanding, that seem so alien to most "straight groups".
I am not a straight person that has learned to accept that people are queer. I am a part of a group where being so is as normal and natural as anything else.

You "normal straight people" may have difficult understanding just how damn lucky I feel to be in this group.
So when the shooter went and killed so many in the gay nightclub in Orlando, I am not upset to show my support. I am not only sad because he killed a group of people that we should accept.
I feel like he murdered my family members.
I feel the pride is about love, openness, understanding, tolerance.
Why should I want to be anywhere else, than with people that have taken this to heart?

So, dear straight people. If you "do not mind that people are gay", take that to heart. It means to honestly not care if others were to think you were gay. If you ever did not do something, worrying that people could misinterpret your sexuality, you mind. Don't.

Go to the pride. Don't just show your support. Show that you truly, honesty do not care, in one way or another, who people love, who people kiss, what people are. Try not only to accept others. Try to accept yourself.

I can't be at peace with the "gay issue".

"When I was in Oslo with a friend, we were cat called by a gay couple! It was really creepy!" - a guy writes as an explanation for his anti-gay attitude. Congratulations, dude. You have just experienced the shit that we give woman all the time. If this is your reason for hating gay people, what does that say about us, straight men, who are guilty of this so frequently?

"I am gay" this guy I just met on some chat site told me. Why is he telling me this, I thought. What relevance does it have for me? The explanation followed shortly. He was telling me why he was depressed, how his family did not accept him, how his grandparents would want nothing to do with him unless he "changed"

This is my dilemma on how to relate to the fact that people are gay. I do not need to know if you are gay. You do not have to tell me. And no, not because I find it offensive, not because I "am not really ok with it, so just, please don't tell me so I can be ignorant to the fact". Not because knowing would in any way affect our friendship. I just do not need to know if you are gay, simply because it does not matter to me one way or another.

I would prefer finding out that you are gay, not by you telling me you are, but by meeting your mate. Or you telling me who you have a crush on. Generally, the same way I discover who of my friends are straight. No one has come to me and told me "I am straight". Why not? Simply put, because there is no need to.

The only time sexual preferences are good to know, is when sexual relationships are the goal. If I have two friends that may be a very good partner match, knowing if their sexual preferences align enough for them to be partners is a good thing before making any suggestions.

So many straight people have attacked the "non-straight" communities need to make a point of being "non-straight". "We do not have a straight pride parade, why can't you just be gay without making a point of it?". It is a good question. It is a valid question. I wish it could be like that. It isn't.

And here is why I am not at ease with the "gay issue". Because it is not like that. And it is not because of "the gay". It is because of us straight people. It is because of how we relate to gay people. It is because of how we feel the need to label someone as being different, just because of who he or she goes to bed with. A difference that is just so totally meaningless to care about.

I would like to find out that a person is gay when he takes his boyfriend over based on the "bring your partner" invitation. When we generally do not find out that people are gay this way, it is because of how we may react. It is because how letting us straight people know that they have one slight preference that differs from us, can affect them. Can make us hate them, can make us shun them.

Why? Why am I even writing "us" and "them"? Even the idea of putting a "us" and "them" between "straight" and "gay" tares at me. For me, there is honestly no "us" and "them" in the world of sexual preferences. The difference is so irrelevant, as it is with so many other things we divide people into groups for.

There are organisations for the LBGT people. I wish there were no need. I wish those organisations could find their existence meaningless, and close down. They can't. When the "Oslo citizen of the year" award was given to a person who has expressed hate towards gay people, I instantly joined one of the organisations that I wish did not have a need to exist. Why? Because I understand that, because of people like that Oslo Citizen of the Year, they have a need to exist.

It angers me to no end. I can not be at peace with the "gay issue" until we straight people get our heads on straight and STOP BEING OFFENDED THAT SOMEONE ARE DIFFERENT FROM US IN A WAY THAT REALLY DOES NOT AFFECT US.

Until the time comes, I will continue to be a LBGT activist and give "them" my full support. Now I will turn it around. I will fight with you, I will fight against them. I rather it be "us", the people that just want everyone to accept people who just want to love the person they want to love. The people that want to be who they are. Against "them", the people that feel they have a say in who people should love and what people should identify as.

So no, I do not care if you are gay, bi, straight, trans or whatever. I do however, care about you. You do not need to tell me if you are gay or not. You can, if you want to, if you need someone to talk to.

The pride is, to me, about the fight for the right to be accepted for being who you are. It is the celebration of diversity.

Words can't express how important this celebration is to me.